Missionary? ok...

I´ve been introduced several times as a missionary, I really hadn´t considered myself one before. I was a volunteer for Esperanza Tv (2 and a half years) then for 10 months at the GC Communications department in Maryland. I have also read stories about missionaries who go aver seas to countries and regions with no water or electricity and having amazing experiences in God. I wanted that but I feel like the worse missionary since I went from Mexico to Maryland, I knew my situation was different. Then I got an invite to come to Central America (Costa Rica) to help with the Spanish hope Channel here (Esperanza Tv Costa Rica) for 6 months, or more. A part of me has always wanted to travel and see the world, and just not live in Mexico or stay in one place, just travel and be a missionary. Until 2013. The thing is that now that I miss my house (Mexico) and my second home (Maryland) I feel like I want to leave this new place now. Why? I just got here! Is it the place or it is me? what should change so i want to stay? Am I really a missionary for the right reasons? I pray every time I have to make a big decision, but this time, I think I finally understood. I´ve never been fully comfortable where I lived, how I lived, etc. there´s always something missing in my life and by changing cities I honestly believed I would find that missing part of my life. I left my home when I was 14 to go study at Montemorelos (4 hours away from my hometown). Since then, I´ve lived in all kind of environments, with my brothers, friends, families, roommates, at the dorm, alone in an apartment. But always with the feeling of not belonging. I finally went to Maryland and I felt like I had it all. I felt like I belonged, what I was looking for! I felt so comfortable! I felt like all aspects of my life were in the right place and improving. I felt God´s hand guiding me. I was happy. It didn´t last. Somehow it all went away, I had to leave the country (U.S.) and find a job, I missed my friends, my second family and that second home, the one I called "my place". I got the invite to come to Costa Rica and I love what I do and I can see God working in this project every day, but somehow I still miss Maryland and I what I did there. My heart was there. And suddenly I wanted to start traveling again, just leave this place, because I felt like I don´t belong and in my way, I just happen to be working as a missionary, and I get to see people get baptized because of the television ministry! I´ve met amazing people worshiping and preaching with everything they do! I feel spiritually complete. And somehow, before going to bed, I just feel comfortable knowing this is my temporary room and I find myself dreaming about going somewhere else. I can also imagine myself traveling all around the world and feeling the same way, like I will never belong, the big difference is that now I´ok with that. I don´t want to feel like I belong to any country or city of this earth anymore. I want to just keep working and focus my attention to those amazing people I get to meet and ask me to pray for them so we can pray together for each other. I want to move my heart from Maryland to Heaven. Because wherever we have treasures, that´s where our heart is… and really, I have no treasures nor in Maryland nor anywhere else. I still want to travel, but I don´t expect to feel like I belong anywhere… and that´s ok. Maybe I feel kind of jealous of Paul who traveled only by faith and made churches but kept moving, maybe that´s my mission to follow. I haven´t figured where my path will take me, but only by faith I've been able to work for my church for 4 years and only by faith I will keep working and traveling with no salary and a mexican passport. So yes, I´m a mexican missionary, I´m a television and media producer and I love God and what He does in me and in the lives of the people of the different places I´ve visited. I want to travel more but I don´t want to belong anywhere below the clouds, this is just not my home and i can feel it.