Dinamite!

Somewhere along the way I lost you. Or is it that you lost the sight of me? I don't know. But I won't give up! I will write 1000 love letters to let you know how much i love you and what you mean to me. I know you say you love me, and most of your being means it. But i'm patient now, when it matters, I am. When is about someone I love, I am When the goal is your love, I am When it comes to my Sam, I am I am a romantic and lunatic person, who gives everything for you and you know it. I know it's scary but you know i cannot help it. You know me existent level of insanity increases when i'm around you. we clash and then is dinamite! World look out! But you cannot denny it, you've found your match!

Chapter One

I met him so suddenly and unexpectedly... and as soon as we made contact we both felt different signs of attraction. 

I did not say a very effusive "hello" and we were both quiet and analytical about each other.

He kind of let me know he was not a morning person. I am not one either but that day i was secretly excited to spend the day with him.

the day went on and i found myself seating next to him, talking to him, joking with him. Flirting with him. 

I even denied my ultimate conviction of not dating pastors or doctors. 

we just shared so much in the first 48 of knowing each other. our fears, stigmas, joys, secrets, personalities, etc. 

I cannot say it was an instant connection. but for the first time in so long I wanted to get close, and explore his lips with mine. 

He was standing in front of me, telling me how much he enjoy the sight of me. I could only complain about he distance. To what he reacted by stepping so close to me there was no more room for air. 

At this point i felt electricity all around. it hit me so fast, I wasn't sure i had a way out. No point trying to pretend I wanted out. 

Catarsis anhelada!

Hace cuánto tiempo no te sientas frente a tu computadora y desparramas las palabras, así como salen solamente para sacarlo, por que sí. Son esas noches, o tardes, o momentos congelados en medio de la realidad del trabajo, escuela, o vida social que te permiten capturar una burbuja enorme, subirte a ella y que nada a tu alrededor te afecte. Si, me siento libre de ser creativa y loca en mis escritos por que son míos. La primer linea de este pos me inspiró para dar un útimo adios a un amor pasado y una bienvenida a una amistad perpetua, y eso me hace feliz! Pude escribir en varios párrafos lo que sentía en ese momento y fue correspodida, pude vaciar lo que llevaba dentro por un año completo y me sentí vacía de aquel peso. Con espacio para llenar de nuevas vivencias y personas. Una parte de mi siente algún tipo de competencia, pero espero que esté viviendo su propia vida, si no, al menos me queda el consuelo de ser la inspiración de vida de alguien más, de un buen amigo. Lleno páginas digitales de debrayes sin sentido para nadie más que para mí, y esta bien. Quiero seguir en contacto con pinzas y sentir que el me quiere más de lo que lo quise a él, por que una parte de mi quiere esa característica en el personaje de mi libro, al mismo tiempo quiero que salga para siempre de mi vida, por que me duele conocerlo y no tenerlo cerca. Pero más me duele no moverme a donde quiero ir y ver que el si se mueve a donde lo inspiré con mis planes propios. Sé que todo tiene su tiempo pero la paciencia nunca se me ha dado de forma natural y éste no es un caso aislado. Quiero correr, y al mimso tiempo deseo no haberme ido nunca. Duele ver lo que pudo haber sido y al mismo tiempo siento ansias de comenzar con mi nuevo capítulo. Al final de todo esto, me siento libre del pasado y sé que todo va a estar bien, que me volveré a enamorar, que voy a volver a sonreir como mensa por cualquier razón cursi y sin sentido para nadie más que para mí y esa persona especial. Sé que al final mi historia va a ser lo que menos importe por lo que he desistido de mi idea de escribir mi novela de vida. No importa el pasado, más bien importa lo que hayas aprendido de él para lo que sigue. Punto.

Oh Yeah! it´s Feb 14t again!

yei!!!! corny day! woohoo!! i still feel sentimental and corny and sweet and lovable about love, about friendship, about relationships. How do you stay friends with a person you were involved with? easy! you just keep loving each other, just in a different way, you still want their happiness and they still want yours. Its simple really, you just have to recognize you are not each other´s THE ONE and that´s it. No need to stop being friends if you were friends to begin with. This is what I like about being friends with ex´s and I have not much experience but I can honestly say that my two male besties were at some point involved with me.. and not just for a couple of months… actually they have been my longest relationships, I can honestly say I know them and they can say they know me at my best and worst, and still, I love them. Because the perfect ending for the perfect love story is the one that does not end in heartbreak or lies, is the one that ends in happy tears together and the beginning of an endless friendship. I love it how we can actually talk about anything and how we always look for the other´s happiness. I´m only sorry about the new casual jealous girlfriends out there because our story cannot be erased, forgotten or ignored. I´m only hoping for their happiness and if even my friendship has to be put to the side for their benefit, I guess I love them enough to do so. On the other hand… I CANNOT complaint about friendships, like with girls… I have so many I could never imagine i would but I actually feel awesome about it. I ´ve been apart from them for so long, I almost forgot what it feels like. So much to share, to be thankful for. I can only smile, and keep planing for an awesome weekend of sweets and corny things around me.

Missionary? ok...

I´ve been introduced several times as a missionary, I really hadn´t considered myself one before. I was a volunteer for Esperanza Tv (2 and a half years) then for 10 months at the GC Communications department in Maryland. I have also read stories about missionaries who go aver seas to countries and regions with no water or electricity and having amazing experiences in God. I wanted that but I feel like the worse missionary since I went from Mexico to Maryland, I knew my situation was different. Then I got an invite to come to Central America (Costa Rica) to help with the Spanish hope Channel here (Esperanza Tv Costa Rica) for 6 months, or more. A part of me has always wanted to travel and see the world, and just not live in Mexico or stay in one place, just travel and be a missionary. Until 2013. The thing is that now that I miss my house (Mexico) and my second home (Maryland) I feel like I want to leave this new place now. Why? I just got here! Is it the place or it is me? what should change so i want to stay? Am I really a missionary for the right reasons? I pray every time I have to make a big decision, but this time, I think I finally understood. I´ve never been fully comfortable where I lived, how I lived, etc. there´s always something missing in my life and by changing cities I honestly believed I would find that missing part of my life. I left my home when I was 14 to go study at Montemorelos (4 hours away from my hometown). Since then, I´ve lived in all kind of environments, with my brothers, friends, families, roommates, at the dorm, alone in an apartment. But always with the feeling of not belonging. I finally went to Maryland and I felt like I had it all. I felt like I belonged, what I was looking for! I felt so comfortable! I felt like all aspects of my life were in the right place and improving. I felt God´s hand guiding me. I was happy. It didn´t last. Somehow it all went away, I had to leave the country (U.S.) and find a job, I missed my friends, my second family and that second home, the one I called "my place". I got the invite to come to Costa Rica and I love what I do and I can see God working in this project every day, but somehow I still miss Maryland and I what I did there. My heart was there. And suddenly I wanted to start traveling again, just leave this place, because I felt like I don´t belong and in my way, I just happen to be working as a missionary, and I get to see people get baptized because of the television ministry! I´ve met amazing people worshiping and preaching with everything they do! I feel spiritually complete. And somehow, before going to bed, I just feel comfortable knowing this is my temporary room and I find myself dreaming about going somewhere else. I can also imagine myself traveling all around the world and feeling the same way, like I will never belong, the big difference is that now I´ok with that. I don´t want to feel like I belong to any country or city of this earth anymore. I want to just keep working and focus my attention to those amazing people I get to meet and ask me to pray for them so we can pray together for each other. I want to move my heart from Maryland to Heaven. Because wherever we have treasures, that´s where our heart is… and really, I have no treasures nor in Maryland nor anywhere else. I still want to travel, but I don´t expect to feel like I belong anywhere… and that´s ok. Maybe I feel kind of jealous of Paul who traveled only by faith and made churches but kept moving, maybe that´s my mission to follow. I haven´t figured where my path will take me, but only by faith I've been able to work for my church for 4 years and only by faith I will keep working and traveling with no salary and a mexican passport. So yes, I´m a mexican missionary, I´m a television and media producer and I love God and what He does in me and in the lives of the people of the different places I´ve visited. I want to travel more but I don´t want to belong anywhere below the clouds, this is just not my home and i can feel it.

Mi historia misionera

Desde que gradué he podido ayudar en diversos ministerios de la iglesia. Primero en Esperanza Tv de la División Norteamericana, por dos años y medio; después en el Depto. de comunicación de la Conferencia General (1año)

Ambos departamentos dejaron en mí el deseo de seguir sirviendo como misionera. 

Esperanza Tv me dejó experiencia en televisión vía satélite y todos sus aspectos, desde técnicos, como organizacionales y de producción. Me dejó plasmado el gran impacto que tiene la televisión dentro de la obra adventista. Me vi envuelta de la cultura hispana de esa División y de otros países por medio de internet. 

El departamento de Comunicación de la Conferencia General  

me dio la oportunidad de ver en primer plano el trabajo de los líderes mundiales de todos los departamentos y cómo depende de cómo presentemos su mensaje, si es que llegará hasta las iglesias locales. También me dejó empapada con el nuevo branding de la iglesia, lista para aplicarlo en mi nuevo puesto.

Trabajé en conjunto con dos amigas (Dania y Moyra), también egresadas de artcom en la creación de contenido de la nueva página oficial de la iglesia.

En noviembre del año pasado, el Pr. Abel Márquez, ex director de artcom me habló del proyecto Esperanza Tv Costa Rica y cómo hacía falta una persona para capacitar en producción a los colaboradores del canal. 

Yo ya estaba en busca de un nuevo viaje misionero y tenía varias opciones pero esta opción me gustó por estar enfocada a lo que había hecho en la DNA, yo creo que Dios acomodó las cosas.

Al llegar a Costa Rica pude ver la gran necesidad, no solo de capacitación de producción para el staff. Sino una capacitación de la iglesia sobre comunicación y medios, para que ellos mismo sepan su importante papel dentro de este trabajo en equipo. 

El canal Esperanza Tv Costa Rica es un canal que esta bien posicionado en el país en varias compañías de cable así como en televisión abierta. El canal no tiene producciones propias regulares. Es un canal que toma la programación de Nuevo Tiempo (Brasil) y de Esperanza Tv (Estados Unidos/México). Mi trabajo al estar aquí es que salgan producciones locales. 

Algo que me llamó mucho la atención de este canal es que gracias a la dedicación local, hay atención personal hacia aquellos que llaman o escriben al canal. 

He escuchado que hay al menos 10 testimonios de personas que estaban por cometer suicidio y vieron el canal, llamaron y fue un pastor ese mismo día a visitarlos. Ser un país pequeño tiene sus ventajas.

Dios está con este proyecto. 

Solo estaré aquí por 6 meses y mi objetivo no es hacer muchas producciones, mi objetivo es ver que el campo de Costa Rica trabaje unido para sacar adelante este canal, no solo la parte de grabación y edición de video, sino, la preparación del campo local para recibir en cada iglesia, personas que fueron llamados a través del canal. Preparar pastores para la atención personal a cada televidente que nos contacte. Y por supuesto, aplicar la capacitación de producción en una o dos series que nos ayuden a cumplir el convenio con Sky y que siga ayudando en la misión de todos nosotros que es de seguir predicando el Evangelio.

 

 Hay mucho trabajo por hacer, por lo pronto, tenemos solo una cámara y un tripié, algunas mezcladoras de audio y cables. 

Pero Dios nos ha bendecido con una tecnología creada por el Director del canal Daniel Valerín, esta tecnología permite transmitir a bajo costo con muy buena calidad en tiempo real similar y por un segundo y medio mejor que un satélite, lo cual también permite distribuir la señal en cualquier parte del mundo a través de una caja similar a un receptor satelital y todo esto cabe en el cascarón de una computadora de escritorio la cual lleva una programación única que es la que permite una interacción entre el dispositivo receptor, el emisor y la nube de internet. 

Solo llevo tres semanas y dos capacitaciones a pastores de la asociación central sur de Costa Rica y de la Unión Centroamericana Sur, falta mucho por hacer y solo me consuela que Dios capacita a los que envía.

Saludos a mi escuela! Extraño a mis amigos de artcom y a mi profe Belvedere! Que bueno que no me dormí en todas sus clases! :) 

Legendary valentine´s day…

I´ve enjoyed a romantic dinner with roses, gifts and cards, chocolates and teddy bears. this year I won´t have it. I love spending this kind of holidays with my friends!! I remember when I just got a bunch of candy and just give it all away with a little note wishing a happy valentine´s day! And also got a few myself… This year I won´t have it. But I can spend the whole day remembering the things that I won't´have today or I can be thankful for the person that I am today and that My friends and past loves have helped me model. yes.. it might sound not that appealing for society to read that I have had loves (plural) but, the fact is that most people won´t easily talk about ever having more than one (maybe to avoid awkward moments with the current or future one) but this is my truth and I´m happy to admit that I learned from every past relationship and had made me a better person. I can also spend my day feeling sad because I have none of my friends here with me to share a meal, a candy, or a laughter today. OR I can enjoy meeting new people that will become my close friends in this new country I´m getting to know and also chat with my friends back home! :) (gotta love internet!) I treasure every friend, every romantic memory and it all comes to my mind today and those memories make me smile! because I know that every year there´s an old and a new reason to be happy!